Transcendence - Avoid and Thank Me Later

source: transcendencemovie.com

Let me begin by telling you, I did not go into the cinema expecting a glorious sci-fi that would appear in one of those Best Sci-Fis of The Decade lists. I knew previously, from the bits and bobs of movie news I've been reading, Transcendence wasn't good. But I had two hours to spare so why not? Little did I know, two hours later, I wished I'd never bought into the seemingly promising concept and potentially great acting.

While the whole concept of having a relationship with an artificial intelligence / computer taking over the world is nothing new / has been done to death, uploading subconsciousness to a computer hasn't appeared in a movie before. And it's a serious topic! So it's natural to think it's meant to be taken seriously? But after 20 minutes the film starts challenging my initial assumption.

There is nothing more to Transcendence than a boring senseless intelligent-sci-fi wannabe. The plot makes no sense and no character does what a human would do. Things happen in a certain way because the script says so. Halfway through the movie, I give up. Then I start to notice Rebecca Hall's cool outfits (which are like what I wear to work but look a million better on her) and find that I can laugh at anything if I want to:

In the scene where Bree (Kate Mara) told Max (Paul Bettany) why she started her cult:

1. Kate Mara's hair looks awful (PROOF)
2. Her roots are showing
3. Why is it so fizzy and dry?
4. She looks like Viserys Targaryen in Game of Thrones
5. She looks like a mouse
6. No, it should be monkey! Funny how she brings it up by talking about the monkey experiment
7. Wait, Paul Bettany actually looks like a monkey with the beard. Sorry I still love you, Paul

Mature, I know. Weirdo who can't stop moving and sighing throughout the movie is now also staring at me for out-weirding him. Dude, there are 80 empty seats in the house why do you have to sit right next to me?

Just as you think it can't get any worse, it gives you the third act. Simply unwatchable. It should not belong in a movie like this. It feels like a third act in a Scary Movie. (It actually reminds me of Warm Bodies but that film isn't meant to be taken seriously... or is it?)

The ending is absolutely the worst. Imagine you're writing a creative piece which is due in 5 minutes and you've just started with the resolution - you're going to write down whatever that comes to your head whether it makes sense or not. The ending of Transcendence is even worse than that because no one knows what the fuck is going on. Why do they keep firing the cannon when everything regenerates itself? Why is there a cannon in the first place? Is the computer Johnny Depp a good guy or a bad guy? WHAAAAT?


source: gifrific

Do you know why this movie is called Transcendence? Because it literally transcends pure boredom into a stew of LOLs and WTFs. But just as I like to pick out and eat all the potatoes in a pot of curry, this time I'm having the LOLs. At least I can laugh instead of mourning over the wasted $70 and valuable morning personal time.


A V O I D !!!!!!

1. If you like the concept of a brain behind a computer or an electronic brain or whatever that is (artificial intelligence of sorts?), watch Her. It's prettier, more clever, insightful and downright superior even though I don't like it. (Read: Fish and Tadpole's review)
2. If you like intelligent sci-fi movies, there are plenty of good ones out there... e.g. Inception and Source Code.
3. If you like pseudo-intelligent films just so you can sound intelligent to your pals, skip Transcendence because everyone knows how horrendous it is.
4. If you like shit movies like Transcendence, skip it still and use the money to rent Scary Movies 1 - 98439843983 on DVD instead. Or check the landfill.

dernièrement, j'ai pensé à...

Good post titles are hard to come by. So I stick with this great piece of advice: when in doubt, speak French. At least you'd sound sophisticated.

1. Matthew McConaughey / Rust Cohle / Man of My Dreams


source: fuckyeahrustcohle

Never had I ever had a male celebrity crush*. I contribute this to the feministic all-girls school mentality that I have. The mentality where I should have female role models over mindless crushes on male hotties... Though it shouldn't be called "all-girls school mentality" when my single-sex educated counterparts had crushes on Peter Wentz in primary school and Edward Cullen (?) in secondary school. Guess I'm just wise.

* I did write about Joaquin Phoenix a few posts back but it wasn't a full-on crush. And my feelings faded when Theodora pointed out that he was 5'8"... I like my crushes taller. Sorry not sorry.

But things changed earlier this year with Matthew McConaughey. I was initially unhappy about him. How could he be sweeping all the awards when he's an ex-rom com heartthrob who just happened to do really well in the past couple of years??? Then I watched Dallas Buyers Club and The Wolf of Wall Street...


Wolfie side-effect: chest pain from all the thumping that you do for the next month.

I'd been rooting for Matthew (why yes we're on first name basis) through the Oscars season... until he did this to me:


source: Christopher Polk/GettyImages

That Texas drawl is too much anyway... and that acceptance speech was at best a C, so I moved on:


source: fuckyeahrustcohle

RUST COHLE. The 1995 Rust Cohle is pretty much the man of my dreams. Good looks (crossing that out to show I'm not vain), mysteriously cynical and brainsss... Intelligence is a big turn-on. Rust is the man who is destined to save me from the green-eared spagetthi monster. As broken and grim he is, our relationship would probably end with both of us killing ourselves. So logically it's a better idea to go with the 2002 Cohle, but I'm not a fan of receding hairlines.

I don't watch TV. I used to say that because I thought TV was dumb but now I simply don't have time. But True Detective's put me into the habit. The series has a few twists here and there. There were people online trying to decode all the hints / non-hints in the episodes and break the case before Rust Cohle did. My father was a homicide detective and having been fed with twisted murder tales since the young age of 3, you think I'd do better than sitting back and enjoying the show. But it turned out the people of Reddit were overthinking. Needless to say the end was a let-down but it made me glad that I had disobeyed my "nurturing".


source: hiddlesbatch-cinephile


source: van-aldens


source: nottibianche

With a compelling storyline, impeccable cinematography work and performances, True Detective is a great show that will only take up 8 hours of your life. But you should be ready to give up the rest of your life thinking about Rust Cohle.



2. Olloclip Knock-Off

Every girl goes through a photography phase. You know, horses... taking dumb pictures of your feet. - Lost in Translation

I like photography. Unlike most girls I know, I'm not in the auto mode camp. I love experimenting with aperture, shutter speed, ISO and etc. But a DSLR is too heavy for everyday lug-around and there are spontaneous moments that can only be captured with your smartphone camera. Though the iPhone camera is getting better and better (owner of a 5S and was amazed at the camera when I first took pics with it), there are limitations. For instance, you can't control the shutter speed. And you can't change the lens. Olloclip got that fixed.

I'm too poor for an Olloclip so my aunt ordered a knock-off for me from taobao. Less than one-tenth of the price but it's got the job done:

Wide angle, my fave:





Macro:




Fisheye:




3. Why Some Dreams Should Not Be Pursued


article | image source

Remember last month I was talking feverishly about my quarter-life crisis? I was unhappy and lost, feeling unappreciated and under-accomplished. In this article, Mark Manson has spoken the words and reasons in my head that I can't put my finger on... No I don't have a rape fantasy, but the rest of the article hits home. Dreams. The desire to achieve something great. Ah, story of my life. I want to be lots of things. I want to have a career, open a restaurant, write books, be successful. I want a family and stability. I want to be happy. I thought everything I want in life is the key to eternal happiness. But of course I know new variants of problems would arise with new life situations, but in my head I've chosen to overlook them.

And do I actually want a restaurant? I do. I want to serve and drink and act pally with happy guests. But do I WANT to go through all the annoying parts of starting a business? Not necessarily. Am I too unmotivated? Or do I not want this bad enough and should divert my energy to something that I want so badly I could devote 100 hours a week to?

Chasing dreams may just be an idea invented by self-help gurus and filmmakers. But maybe I'm just a lazy ass looking for an excuse to be lazy. But it's good to know I'm not alone in this.

Either way, I should now focus on finding something I truly enjoy. Fall in love with the process, not the result. And pray that something great will come out of a mediocre person like myself.